


you took a polaroid of us, then discovered.

by Lefauxlucifer



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Femslash February 2019, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-02 00:31:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17877734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lefauxlucifer/pseuds/Lefauxlucifer
Summary: The rest of the world was black and white—but she was in screaming color.





	you took a polaroid of us, then discovered.

You're indebted to them, because in a way, they've made your dream their own.  They don’t hold back with you, and it means you you can’t allow yourself to become the weakest link in the chain. As their leader, you have to be twice as good even when you're at your worst.

 

So if you were running before, this is an all-out sprint.

 

And when that puts you on the verge of total exhaustion, she's there.

 

You make her worry, and it’s not a particularly charming feeling, but in the grand scheme of things, you're nonetheless pleased.

 

In a roundabout way, it's part of why you haven't once looked back and regretted your decisions. You formed this band, and you stuck with them even when your dream was just a hair's breadth away.

 

And it's what you needed: someone who'd be there through thick and thin, who'd set you straight when you'd almost lost your way. She’s been there for you, and you don't know where you'd be without that blinding light of hers to guide you, and you can't thank her enough.

 

But you're not about to.

 

No, what you're doing instead is selfish, and unwise, and at best, nothing will ever be the same.

 

And it's a risk you're going to take.

 

It's not fair, you think, that she's had to go so long without a proper response from you, and though this might as well be a fool's errand, you don't have your doubts about this like you did then, not now.

 

She said it to you as if she had those feelings for an eternity. It was clear that she didn't expect an immediate answer, but you, you with all your inexperience in tow, couldn't begin to fathom what those words meant. To her. To you.

 

Maybe that was the first time you ever thought of her like that. Or maybe, just maybe, you'd always thought of her like that, as more than friends, but less than lovers. You didn't hate how she showered you with attention, but you couldn't say that you longed for those moments. It's a fickle thing, this, and you'd rather take your chances onstage, where not much is beyond your control.

 

You can't quite place it, but though she's many things, a good friend, a talented bassist, a classmate, you've never really categorized her like so.

 

And you suppose that means you're not sure what Imai Lisa is to you. So it follows that you've never been quite certain, and therefore, her confession only forces your hand, but the urgency of the matter doesn't do anything but paralyze. After all, it's a question that's hardly straightforward.

 

So you've made a couple quick assumptions, and by and large, your deductions have led you to conclude that up on the rooftop is the most practical location. It's conventional, customary (from the guides you've read), and a place where no one can eavesdrop, so in the event that this blows up in your face years down the road, you can effectively limit the blast radius.

 

You've relied on her for so long, and in ways you really shouldn't. Even if she's maintained that she's doing this of her own free will, you can't help but feel that you caught her at an inopportune time, and inadvertently thrust this world onto her shoulders, that you've never stopped doing that, that you never will.

 

She's dependable, and you take advantage of that, even if you don't mean to. She's always cordial, always chipper, and it makes you feel guilty, wanting this when you don't yet have a formal definition for that fleeting word.

 

And you can't help but think that they were deceptive, the people who wrote these WikiHow guides.

 

Your heart races for your music, for the fans, for the rush you get after a perfect performance, the thrill of showcasing the fruits of your labor and endless passion, but not for her.

 

And you still don’t know if it’s supposed to.

 

Lisa keeps you grounded. Centered. The sound of her bass is soothing, calming, but it's not so much the resonance as it is who's behind it. It's more that you feel at ease with her there by your side, that you feel it's one less thing to worry about in concert. She’s never let you down.

 

So whether you choose to let her support you or not, you know she will, and it's a capricious sentiment.

 

And you're not okay with it. . . but you sort of are, and if you had to put it into words, there's a distinct sincerity in everything she says and does, and with her there, you can't ever lose sight of your dreams, nor will you waver in your judgement.

 

But the thing is, you don't feel like you're actively reciprocating, and you want to.

 

This is self-serving and a trite exploitative, and you don’t even know if you can make her the same kind of happy she makes you. It’s not that you aren’t willing to undertake a level of moral culpability for this if it falls apart. It's just that Lisa’s easy to talk to. To open up to. You’re scared, even, scared that you’ll inadvertently hurt her, like so many people do.

 

You've never been good at expressing yourself outside of music, so you’ve heard.

 

You still aren't, and you know it only plays on Lisa’s insecurities—the muttering under her breath when the slightest mistake ruins a performance. You’re willing to accept that the lack of communication makes you an abysmal person at times, but you’re going to work at it, for her sake.

 

Because despite everything else, it’s real: this warmth in your chest. You don’t think that you could feel this way for anyone but her, and you don’t want to ever lose this. You might not have a clear-cut definition for that word, not yet, but you don’t think you’ve ever been closer to it than when you’re with her. Your voice is quiet, hushed, and it's oddly, vaguely humbling. You've never had a problem with your nerves, but it's embarrassing, asking someone if you can cling like this to them forever, if you can rely on them for the rest of your life.

 

But it's not the first time she makes you smile, and it sure as hell isn't the last.

**Author's Note:**

> mmmyeah i have no idea if i did this ship justice but i tried ?? the song's been stuck in my head for days and so have these two. i feel like the 2nd-person just screwed it up more but. i haven't seen too much stuff from yukina's pov so i thought i'd give it a go ??
> 
> if you made it this far i hope you enjoyed my caffeinated rambling ?? i'msorry.


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